I may not have mentioned this already, but last year my husband and I made the decision that I should leave my job. Working nearly full time - even telecommuting from home - and raising a child with a husband also working full time was causing a lot of stress on my life and my marriage, but it also wasn't allowing us to raise our child the way that we had hoped. The transition from paid worker to unpaid servant was difficult. And, it's still something that I cope with each day. However, I've found ways to redefine myself not just as a mom, but as a professional with some serious clout! I became a volunteer.
Volunteers aren't typically thought of as being professional nor building career reputations. This image is definitely wrong...when you've got the right organization training you. Several years ago, I made the decision to join the Junior League. While I originally did this to make friends, this decision has grown into a commitment and a personal development opportunity. I've been able to test out different opportunities for future resume building and career growth. I've planned events, developed fundraisers, managed committees, and developed my skills at social networking. Plus, I've been able to network with women who are still working in the corporate world who may one day provide me an opportunity to return to work if and when it fits into the lifestyle I want for my family.
Volunteering doesn't have to be seen as doing the jobs that no one else wants to do. It doesn't have to be seen as only involving menial tasks. The nonprofit sector provides opportunities to develop your corporate skills while making an impact on lives around you...all in the timeframe that you, as a mom, are able to give. I have seldomly heard of a volunteer being fired...which means you can test out different areas of work without fear! One of the best parts; however, is that many nonprofits allow you to volunteer - at least in part - with your child present. So, not only are you developing your potential, but your teaching your child how to help others. It's a win-win situation!
If you're looking for areas to volunteer, why not check out the Junior League...they're not the same as they were 50 years ago, but a group of amazing, empowered women who are making a true impact in the communities around them. You can find out more at www.ajli.org or follow me on Twitter @KatieShuck.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Words out of a mother's mouth
Ever since becoming a mom, there are key words and phrases that I have tried my best not to say. It's not that there's really anything wrong with these words and phrases...it's that I don't want to become the cliche mom who is always saying things like, "Because I said so" or "When I was your age..." So far, I've done pretty well at skipping these phrases, but I've been shocked at some of the other things that come out of my mouth when talking to my sweet pea. So, I thought I'd share...
- We don't touch puppy/cat/pig/goat/bunny bottoms.
- Heads don't go in potties.
- Dip your food, not your fingers.
- We only spit after brushing our teeth.
- Puppy food is for puppies.
- You pooped in the potty!! YEAH!
- We don't drink Bud Light........yet. (Hey, I'm from St. Louis)
Sunday, July 3, 2011
My Conclusion
It's been a while since my last blog. Life seems to take up so much more time once my Sweet Pea started walking. It's been just over a month, but I've already lost the ability to focus on individual tasks as they continually get interrupted by the need to get someone out of the dog bowls, out of the plants, into the potty, or redressed. Busyness has been completely redefined when you're looking our for someone with a 30-second attention span.
However, life as a mother is also a lot more interesting and challenging as each new accomplishment is achieved. My Sweet Pea interacts with me (albeit, not always for the best) and tells me some of what she wants (apparently, I never feed her as she's always asking for "more"). She looks at the world with eyes I wish I still had...eyes that never get bored. She can read Dr. Seuss's Mr Brown Can Moo over and over and, every time she gets to "He can sound like a hand on a door..." she knocks her own hand on the page, laughing at her accomplishment.
Why is it that we lose this gift of sight? A vacuum to my Sweet Pea is a magical instrument that sings songs and vibrates as she pushes it across the room (Yes, I did buy her a real vacuum - or Dustbuster - she had no interest in the play vacuums). To me, a vacuum is just another torture device of yet another task I must accomplish several times a week. Flowering weeds, to my Sweet Pea, are a glorious gift for MaMa. And, while they melt my heart when coming from the tender hands of my child, when growing in my yard, they're proof of my inability to maintain the pristine lawn of which I dream.
I'm envious of my own child. She looks at the world around her and sees nothing but the glories of God, hope, and possibilities. I look at the world around me and see my faults, lost dreams, and agony of man's sinful nature. I look at the people around me and see despair, anger, selfishness, greed, lust, broken homes, broken promises, and broken spirits. My Sweet Pea sees these same people and sees it as an opportunity to wave and say "Hi!"...as is evident when we walk to the mailbox and she must stop and wave at every passerby.
I've come to a conclusion. Children are an amazing blessing from whom we can learn to reacquaint ourselves with all the goodness in this world. They cause pain during childbirth, from which we can learn to appreciate the tenderness of their sweet skin. They give us sleepless days and nights from which we can learn to let some of our duties slide and make the necessary time for our own rest. They cry so that we can allow their sweet laughs to radiate inside us and fill us again with hope. They get dirty so that we can enjoy time together singing and playing in the bath. They get hurt so that we can be reassured of our simple ability to hug and kiss them and tell them that everything will be alright. They grow up and have their own kids so that we know this cycle doesn't end and that we have added something great to the world around us.
However, life as a mother is also a lot more interesting and challenging as each new accomplishment is achieved. My Sweet Pea interacts with me (albeit, not always for the best) and tells me some of what she wants (apparently, I never feed her as she's always asking for "more"). She looks at the world with eyes I wish I still had...eyes that never get bored. She can read Dr. Seuss's Mr Brown Can Moo over and over and, every time she gets to "He can sound like a hand on a door..." she knocks her own hand on the page, laughing at her accomplishment.
Why is it that we lose this gift of sight? A vacuum to my Sweet Pea is a magical instrument that sings songs and vibrates as she pushes it across the room (Yes, I did buy her a real vacuum - or Dustbuster - she had no interest in the play vacuums). To me, a vacuum is just another torture device of yet another task I must accomplish several times a week. Flowering weeds, to my Sweet Pea, are a glorious gift for MaMa. And, while they melt my heart when coming from the tender hands of my child, when growing in my yard, they're proof of my inability to maintain the pristine lawn of which I dream.
I'm envious of my own child. She looks at the world around her and sees nothing but the glories of God, hope, and possibilities. I look at the world around me and see my faults, lost dreams, and agony of man's sinful nature. I look at the people around me and see despair, anger, selfishness, greed, lust, broken homes, broken promises, and broken spirits. My Sweet Pea sees these same people and sees it as an opportunity to wave and say "Hi!"...as is evident when we walk to the mailbox and she must stop and wave at every passerby.
I've come to a conclusion. Children are an amazing blessing from whom we can learn to reacquaint ourselves with all the goodness in this world. They cause pain during childbirth, from which we can learn to appreciate the tenderness of their sweet skin. They give us sleepless days and nights from which we can learn to let some of our duties slide and make the necessary time for our own rest. They cry so that we can allow their sweet laughs to radiate inside us and fill us again with hope. They get dirty so that we can enjoy time together singing and playing in the bath. They get hurt so that we can be reassured of our simple ability to hug and kiss them and tell them that everything will be alright. They grow up and have their own kids so that we know this cycle doesn't end and that we have added something great to the world around us.
Friday, June 3, 2011
One Regret
Before having a child, I thought that I didn't have many regrets. I have had a good life and been blessed to do many things. What was there to regret?
However, as I watch my child grow, I notice that there are so many times when I have rushed through life and avoided really focusing on what's around me. Having a child has changed that. Not only do I now have to notice everything around me (for fear that my child will get into it), but I have to teach my child about all that surrounds her...to know the difference between red and purple, one and ten, dogs and cats, edible and yucky, play time and quite time, good and bad, right and wrong, and so many more things.
Just this morning, I found myself trying to rush through the day so that we could get to nap time. I needed rest after the lack of sleep this week has brought me. But, my daughter didn't want anything to do with it. She wasn't throwing a temper tantrum (thankfully) and she wasn't screeching in excitement (also, thankfully). No, she was simply admiring the world around her and continually bringing different items to my lap to learn.
What a joyful time parenting is. It's cause for learning for both child and parent. It's cause for admiration of all that we know and all that we don't. And, perhaps it's God's way of showing us that it's time to take a look around at all His glories.
I hope you are able to stop and look at the world around you today. And, maybe just breathe and learn.
However, as I watch my child grow, I notice that there are so many times when I have rushed through life and avoided really focusing on what's around me. Having a child has changed that. Not only do I now have to notice everything around me (for fear that my child will get into it), but I have to teach my child about all that surrounds her...to know the difference between red and purple, one and ten, dogs and cats, edible and yucky, play time and quite time, good and bad, right and wrong, and so many more things.
Just this morning, I found myself trying to rush through the day so that we could get to nap time. I needed rest after the lack of sleep this week has brought me. But, my daughter didn't want anything to do with it. She wasn't throwing a temper tantrum (thankfully) and she wasn't screeching in excitement (also, thankfully). No, she was simply admiring the world around her and continually bringing different items to my lap to learn.
What a joyful time parenting is. It's cause for learning for both child and parent. It's cause for admiration of all that we know and all that we don't. And, perhaps it's God's way of showing us that it's time to take a look around at all His glories.
I hope you are able to stop and look at the world around you today. And, maybe just breathe and learn.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Why Red Robin is great
I love to eat out. I'm not quite a foodie, but I do appreciate a restaurant with a peaceful ambiance and fine cuisine. Now, this past statement and the title of my blog may appear to be a paradox but, as many mothers may agree, it is not.
Red Robin, and similar restaurants, is one of the most relaxing places for me to enjoy a peaceful night out with my family or just my daughter and me. It's peaceful because I cannot hear my daughter screeching over the sound of the music, other patrons, and other kids screeching around us. It's the perfect place to go when you don't want others to know exactly how loud your child can get when out in public. It's also perfect because they serve meals that resemble healthy food. You can order grilled chicken with fruit and vegetables instead of everything fried.
Now, the games in the waiting area may appear to be distractions which have the ability to cause tantrums at the drop of a dime (or dollar, as inflation seems to have games now costing), but really, who's going to notice your child's tantrum when there are ten other tables with parents worrying about the same thing?
As a non-parent, my idea of the perfect restaurant would have been that local place with the well-known chef and a wine selection that was longer than the daily-changing menu. But, let's face it, we roll with the punches and, for the times I don't have a sitter or I'm in desperate need of getting out of the house and in some resemblance of society, Red Robin will do just fine. It is truly a great restaurant!
Red Robin, and similar restaurants, is one of the most relaxing places for me to enjoy a peaceful night out with my family or just my daughter and me. It's peaceful because I cannot hear my daughter screeching over the sound of the music, other patrons, and other kids screeching around us. It's the perfect place to go when you don't want others to know exactly how loud your child can get when out in public. It's also perfect because they serve meals that resemble healthy food. You can order grilled chicken with fruit and vegetables instead of everything fried.
Now, the games in the waiting area may appear to be distractions which have the ability to cause tantrums at the drop of a dime (or dollar, as inflation seems to have games now costing), but really, who's going to notice your child's tantrum when there are ten other tables with parents worrying about the same thing?
As a non-parent, my idea of the perfect restaurant would have been that local place with the well-known chef and a wine selection that was longer than the daily-changing menu. But, let's face it, we roll with the punches and, for the times I don't have a sitter or I'm in desperate need of getting out of the house and in some resemblance of society, Red Robin will do just fine. It is truly a great restaurant!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Surviving Single Parenting
For those of you who read this - I know it's not too many - some of you know me personally, so this won't come as a shock to you. But, for the rest of you, there's a minor, personal detail which I've left out of my previous blog posts. If you've been following me for any period of time, this may be surprising to you as I've shared the in's and out's of pregnancy, labor, and delivery, as well as many other sordid details of parenting. But, alas, there is one important item which I've neglected to share.
I am a military spouse. Now, you may be wondering what this means and what it has to do with the title of this post on being a single parent. This essentially means that there are times when my husband cannot be around to be the father that I know he wants to be. There are times when I must make the decisions for my family. And, there are times when I must struggle through tantrums, milestones, life lessons, and other childhood dramas without support. Some of you may recognize these struggles as you too are either a milspouse or a single parent.
When I thought of having a family, there would be so many times when I needed support from someone other than myself. There are times when I've thought that I was going to go crazy because I couldn't take the crying, screaming, or not being around an adult. There are times when I thought the world around me was going to fall down because I hadn't gotten a single break between spit ups, pukes, poops, pees, and every other sort of mess that comes with having a child. There are times when my has teetered on the very edge of sanity because of sleep deprivation and the constant need my Sweet Pea has needed from me.
But, I'm here to say that, while I don't quite consider myself a survivor, I would say that I am surviving. Every day is a new battle. Every week brings new challenges. Every month brings a new development in not only my child's life, but also in my own. My strength builds. My hope endures. My skills at parenting are being sharpened. I am being developed into a survivor.
So, while I can't give exact pointers on how to survive single parenthood, I can say that it is possible. Every parent is different. Every child is different. But, through it all, know that we are not alone. Whatever situation has made you a single parent, you too can choose to become a survivor.
I am a military spouse. Now, you may be wondering what this means and what it has to do with the title of this post on being a single parent. This essentially means that there are times when my husband cannot be around to be the father that I know he wants to be. There are times when I must make the decisions for my family. And, there are times when I must struggle through tantrums, milestones, life lessons, and other childhood dramas without support. Some of you may recognize these struggles as you too are either a milspouse or a single parent.
When I thought of having a family, there would be so many times when I needed support from someone other than myself. There are times when I've thought that I was going to go crazy because I couldn't take the crying, screaming, or not being around an adult. There are times when I thought the world around me was going to fall down because I hadn't gotten a single break between spit ups, pukes, poops, pees, and every other sort of mess that comes with having a child. There are times when my has teetered on the very edge of sanity because of sleep deprivation and the constant need my Sweet Pea has needed from me.
But, I'm here to say that, while I don't quite consider myself a survivor, I would say that I am surviving. Every day is a new battle. Every week brings new challenges. Every month brings a new development in not only my child's life, but also in my own. My strength builds. My hope endures. My skills at parenting are being sharpened. I am being developed into a survivor.
So, while I can't give exact pointers on how to survive single parenthood, I can say that it is possible. Every parent is different. Every child is different. But, through it all, know that we are not alone. Whatever situation has made you a single parent, you too can choose to become a survivor.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Stripping Cloth Diapers
It's been over a year now, and I am so happy that I have stuck with cloth diapering. Not only have I saved money, but my daughter knows exactly when she has a dirty/wet diaper. She is VERY vocal about this! I hope this translates to easy potty training, but that's yet to be seen.
The one minor detail I've noticed as I've cloth diapered is that, occasionally, there is a smell to the diapers when they become wet or dirty. It makes me think that each diaper is a poopy diaper, yet when I open it up, it's simply wet. This has gotten kind of annoying. So, I did some research.
Did you know that cloth diapers need occasional maintenance in order to maintain their absorbency and eliminate detergent buildup? I didn't. You'd think that this information would be more readily accessible within the cloth diapering community. But, seeing as I am one of the first of my friends to use cloth diapers, perhaps it's just not known in my community.
It's possible that I am either using too much or too little detergent when laundering my diapers. These are both common issues with smells. I use a heavy duty cycle with multiple rinses. I also use an all-natural detergent. But, buildup can still occur.
Therefore, I've now stripped my diapers. When I first heard this term, "stripping diapers", I thought that it was going to be extremely complicated and too much work for me. The easy news...it's not. It's simply a term that refers to getting rid of that extra buildup in the diapers. And, with regular maintenance, this is as simple as doing multiple rinse cycles with zero detergent on clean diapers. By continually rinsing the diapers, you get out all of that buildup that, over time, affects the absorbency - and therefore smell - of cloth diapers.
Now, there are products out there to assist with stripping cloth diapers. Thankfully, most of them are unneeded. Before spending lots of money on chemicals, try doing a couple of simple heavy duty, hot rinse cycles on a load of clean diapers (note, be sure to actually clean the diapers first!). With regular maintenance, your diapers will continue to work the way you know and love them to.
Happy diapering!
The one minor detail I've noticed as I've cloth diapered is that, occasionally, there is a smell to the diapers when they become wet or dirty. It makes me think that each diaper is a poopy diaper, yet when I open it up, it's simply wet. This has gotten kind of annoying. So, I did some research.
Did you know that cloth diapers need occasional maintenance in order to maintain their absorbency and eliminate detergent buildup? I didn't. You'd think that this information would be more readily accessible within the cloth diapering community. But, seeing as I am one of the first of my friends to use cloth diapers, perhaps it's just not known in my community.
It's possible that I am either using too much or too little detergent when laundering my diapers. These are both common issues with smells. I use a heavy duty cycle with multiple rinses. I also use an all-natural detergent. But, buildup can still occur.
Therefore, I've now stripped my diapers. When I first heard this term, "stripping diapers", I thought that it was going to be extremely complicated and too much work for me. The easy news...it's not. It's simply a term that refers to getting rid of that extra buildup in the diapers. And, with regular maintenance, this is as simple as doing multiple rinse cycles with zero detergent on clean diapers. By continually rinsing the diapers, you get out all of that buildup that, over time, affects the absorbency - and therefore smell - of cloth diapers.
Now, there are products out there to assist with stripping cloth diapers. Thankfully, most of them are unneeded. Before spending lots of money on chemicals, try doing a couple of simple heavy duty, hot rinse cycles on a load of clean diapers (note, be sure to actually clean the diapers first!). With regular maintenance, your diapers will continue to work the way you know and love them to.
Happy diapering!
Friday, May 6, 2011
A Mother's Job
With Mother's Day quickly approaching...hint, hint to all the father's and children reading this blog post...I thought I'd do a quick recap of what I've learned over the past year about a mother's job.
A mother's job, while quieted within society, is rarely filled with quiet.
It's filled with spills, spit ups, pukes, poops, dirty laundry, and dirty diapers because it's not a clean job.
Because of this, we fill the diaper bag with a change of clothes for both Baby and Mama
Our days are not filled with sleep. Sleep is overrated; naps are essential.
As is coffee...more than one cup. The coffee shop knows to keep that cup full.
Happiness for a mother is that first night you get four hours of sleep.
It's the first smile and laugh - even if it is because of gas.
It's finding time to take a shower and fix your hair.
It's making it through a day with no blow outs.
It's eating a hot meal.
It's finding your belly button and taking those first steps.
It's hugs with tiny pats on the back.
"Ma Ma" is rarely the first word because Baby knows you'll always be there.
Mothers understand the difference between "da da" and "dah dah" - one is Dad, the other the dog - although sometimes it's also a duck.
Mothers also understand sign language. We know when the "point and grunt" means Baby's hungry and when it means Baby wants picked up.
Mothers are psychics.
We know where Baby is when there is no noise at all.
Mothers are doctors.
We kiss away the bumps and bruises and can tell the difference between a cold and teething.
Mothers are entertainers.
Reading books, singing songs, eating plastic food...all day long.
Mothers are teachers.
Knowing right from wrong; noses from toes, numbers, colors, and more.
Mothers are rarely recognized.
They're rarely acknowledged.
They're rarely appreciated.
Why? Because, even without these things, we're still always here.
Mothers are different.
Unique.
There are no two mothers alike.
And, that's ok.
There's no one way to be a mother.
There's no one way to succeed.
Being a mother is not for everyone.
The physical act of having a child does not make everyone a mother.
It is the emotional involvement, the mental toll, the everyday insanity that every mother goes through and learns to survive.
Mothers are amazing creatures, created by God, given amazing abilities to overcome obstacles, trials, and stresses.
This is a mother's job.
A mother's job, while quieted within society, is rarely filled with quiet.
It's filled with spills, spit ups, pukes, poops, dirty laundry, and dirty diapers because it's not a clean job.
Because of this, we fill the diaper bag with a change of clothes for both Baby and Mama
Our days are not filled with sleep. Sleep is overrated; naps are essential.
As is coffee...more than one cup. The coffee shop knows to keep that cup full.
Happiness for a mother is that first night you get four hours of sleep.
It's the first smile and laugh - even if it is because of gas.
It's finding time to take a shower and fix your hair.
It's making it through a day with no blow outs.
It's eating a hot meal.
It's finding your belly button and taking those first steps.
It's hugs with tiny pats on the back.
"Ma Ma" is rarely the first word because Baby knows you'll always be there.
Mothers understand the difference between "da da" and "dah dah" - one is Dad, the other the dog - although sometimes it's also a duck.
Mothers also understand sign language. We know when the "point and grunt" means Baby's hungry and when it means Baby wants picked up.
Mothers are psychics.
We know where Baby is when there is no noise at all.
Mothers are doctors.
We kiss away the bumps and bruises and can tell the difference between a cold and teething.
Mothers are entertainers.
Reading books, singing songs, eating plastic food...all day long.
Mothers are teachers.
Knowing right from wrong; noses from toes, numbers, colors, and more.
Mothers are rarely recognized.
They're rarely acknowledged.
They're rarely appreciated.
Why? Because, even without these things, we're still always here.
Mothers are different.
Unique.
There are no two mothers alike.
And, that's ok.
There's no one way to be a mother.
There's no one way to succeed.
Being a mother is not for everyone.
The physical act of having a child does not make everyone a mother.
It is the emotional involvement, the mental toll, the everyday insanity that every mother goes through and learns to survive.
Mothers are amazing creatures, created by God, given amazing abilities to overcome obstacles, trials, and stresses.
This is a mother's job.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Life Lessons According to Sweet Pea
It's amazing the way that toddlers look at the world around them. I'm continually learning something new each day. Here's what I've learned from my toddler today...
1. Food tastes much better after it's sat on your head for a while.
2. If at first you don't succeed (with eating utensils), just dump everything on the floor.
3. McDonald's isn't healthy; dirt tastes much better.
4. I know when Mama's not looking.
5. Toys and books are fun, but puppies, remotes, and phone are more fun.
6. I will teach myself to push buttons, then I will push them constantly. It never gets boring.
7. It's more exciting if I make Mama dress me while I'm running away.
8. Why on Earth do I need to learn the word "mama", she's always there; I never need to call for her?
1. Food tastes much better after it's sat on your head for a while.
2. If at first you don't succeed (with eating utensils), just dump everything on the floor.
3. McDonald's isn't healthy; dirt tastes much better.
4. I know when Mama's not looking.
5. Toys and books are fun, but puppies, remotes, and phone are more fun.
6. I will teach myself to push buttons, then I will push them constantly. It never gets boring.
7. It's more exciting if I make Mama dress me while I'm running away.
8. Why on Earth do I need to learn the word "mama", she's always there; I never need to call for her?
Friday, April 1, 2011
Independence
Independence is an amazing thing. I recall moving into my first "real" apartment after college. My parents were no longer footing the bill. I had no roommates. I was responsible for everything: decorating, cooking, cleaning... My complete independence had begun!
What seems like ages since then, I've now learned that independence comes in cycles. We're continually moving through periods where we become dependent on things and/or people. Or, others are becoming dependent of us. Such is the case with parenting.
This past week, I have been working with my Sweet Pea on her own independence...mainly so that I can once again have my independence (at least during meal times so that I can sit down and enjoy a hot meal). We've been working on using utensils to eat, eating finger foods (although nearly every food has become a "finger" food whether I want it to be or not...think applesauce all over the floor!), and entertaining ourselves. These skills, as with true independence, don't come easy. They are all baby steps. But, each step - no matter how small - is a step forwards.
The same can be true for living frugally. Looking at life in portions has helped me to slowly cut the unneeded out of my life. I pick one area and work on that until I've got it under control. Then, I work on another area while continuing to maintain the first. Doing all of this so that I eventually gain another level of independence.
My independence, as with my Sweet Pea's, comes slowly, but it's moving forwards. This month, didn't succeed at not going to the grocery store, but I managed to not buy any more items for my pantry. That's a step forwards for me!
I hope you're moving forwards in your goals too.
What seems like ages since then, I've now learned that independence comes in cycles. We're continually moving through periods where we become dependent on things and/or people. Or, others are becoming dependent of us. Such is the case with parenting.
This past week, I have been working with my Sweet Pea on her own independence...mainly so that I can once again have my independence (at least during meal times so that I can sit down and enjoy a hot meal). We've been working on using utensils to eat, eating finger foods (although nearly every food has become a "finger" food whether I want it to be or not...think applesauce all over the floor!), and entertaining ourselves. These skills, as with true independence, don't come easy. They are all baby steps. But, each step - no matter how small - is a step forwards.
The same can be true for living frugally. Looking at life in portions has helped me to slowly cut the unneeded out of my life. I pick one area and work on that until I've got it under control. Then, I work on another area while continuing to maintain the first. Doing all of this so that I eventually gain another level of independence.
My independence, as with my Sweet Pea's, comes slowly, but it's moving forwards. This month, didn't succeed at not going to the grocery store, but I managed to not buy any more items for my pantry. That's a step forwards for me!
I hope you're moving forwards in your goals too.
Monday, March 21, 2011
I See - I Need
Let's face it; I'm not really made to be frugal. However, in today's society, frugality can be a necessity. So, I try. I have saved money using cloth diapers, making my own baby food and home-cooked meals without going to the grocery store; I gave up clothes shopping for Lent (probably my greatest Lenten sacrifice to date)...I'm making a real effort at not spending money.
The difficult thing is that I have wants. They're not needs. They're not, "I can't survive without it" or "That will make work so much easier." No, they are wants...I want what others around me have. I want the nicer car, the exotic travel, the ease of life that seems to come if I just get that newer gadget...you get the idea. These are all a part of the "I see - I need" syndrome which I have to resist on an hourly basis.
It's not easy to resist these urges. I am the person that marketing departments are trying to get when they put items in the checkout lane or sale signs on windows. I am the person you invite to your at-home candle/basket/housewares/food party. These things call out to me. I can feel that inner desire to go in, find any item, and buy it. But, I'm not made of money; therefore, I must resist.
So, how do I do it? Well, it's one minute at a time - sometimes even one second at a time. I try to stay away from areas where I'll spend money. But, you can't do this forever. I would have to stay locked away to truly avoid spending money.
I am not perfect. I stumble weekly. Then, I pick myself up and start again. I'm making progress. I have set goals of things that I would like to have in my life. I've planned my dream vacation to Europe. I've priced it. Now, I'm saving for it. It may never come. With each stumble I have, I fall further away from it. But, with each purchase I avoid, I get closer to it...eventually my avoidance will bring me closer to my goal. Until I reach it, I'll try to continue resisting - one second at a time.
How do you resist the "I see - I need" urge?
The difficult thing is that I have wants. They're not needs. They're not, "I can't survive without it" or "That will make work so much easier." No, they are wants...I want what others around me have. I want the nicer car, the exotic travel, the ease of life that seems to come if I just get that newer gadget...you get the idea. These are all a part of the "I see - I need" syndrome which I have to resist on an hourly basis.
It's not easy to resist these urges. I am the person that marketing departments are trying to get when they put items in the checkout lane or sale signs on windows. I am the person you invite to your at-home candle/basket/housewares/food party. These things call out to me. I can feel that inner desire to go in, find any item, and buy it. But, I'm not made of money; therefore, I must resist.
So, how do I do it? Well, it's one minute at a time - sometimes even one second at a time. I try to stay away from areas where I'll spend money. But, you can't do this forever. I would have to stay locked away to truly avoid spending money.
I am not perfect. I stumble weekly. Then, I pick myself up and start again. I'm making progress. I have set goals of things that I would like to have in my life. I've planned my dream vacation to Europe. I've priced it. Now, I'm saving for it. It may never come. With each stumble I have, I fall further away from it. But, with each purchase I avoid, I get closer to it...eventually my avoidance will bring me closer to my goal. Until I reach it, I'll try to continue resisting - one second at a time.
How do you resist the "I see - I need" urge?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Transitions
Transition is always difficult. Whether it's moving to a new home, changing jobs, changing relationship statuses...there are always obstacles to overcome and challenges to face.
The same is true for transitions in my Sweet Pea. The periods of transitions are the toughest for us. First, it was transitioning from in the womb to in my arms. After all, she had to learn to breathe on her own, nurse, sleep during the night and stay awake during daytime - not to mention allowing all of her body systems to function. That's one tough job for someone so tiny. The next major transition was to eating solid foods. She had to learn tastes, textures, swallowing while getting rid of the tongue thrust reflex. Other transitions are to moving her own body via crawling or walking, talking and communicating, playing on her own or entertaining herself. The list goes on and on and on.
While these periods of change have included many sleepless nights on my part, they have - as I look back - been relatively short. And, best of all, these times have passed.
So, for those of you in the midst of whatever period of transition, know this...these times will pass. Before you know it, you'll look back and wonder where the time has gone!
The same is true for transitions in my Sweet Pea. The periods of transitions are the toughest for us. First, it was transitioning from in the womb to in my arms. After all, she had to learn to breathe on her own, nurse, sleep during the night and stay awake during daytime - not to mention allowing all of her body systems to function. That's one tough job for someone so tiny. The next major transition was to eating solid foods. She had to learn tastes, textures, swallowing while getting rid of the tongue thrust reflex. Other transitions are to moving her own body via crawling or walking, talking and communicating, playing on her own or entertaining herself. The list goes on and on and on.
While these periods of change have included many sleepless nights on my part, they have - as I look back - been relatively short. And, best of all, these times have passed.
So, for those of you in the midst of whatever period of transition, know this...these times will pass. Before you know it, you'll look back and wonder where the time has gone!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
There's Hope For Me Yet!
This past week, I was blessed to be able to listen to a fabulous presenter, Will Parnell, Director of the Helen Gordon Child Development Center at Portland State University. During his talk, he discussed how we, as adults, can look at our children not as children of needs, but children of rights. With this approach, we can actively listen to our children and involve them in society instead of assuming that they are helpless and are in constant need of our assistance. Even at a very young age, children have possibilities. We just have to listen to them - even when they can't speak for themselves.
As a mom, there are days that go by when I wonder where the hope is for me. My Sweet Pea is either not sleeping well, not eating well, not building her vocabulary, not crawling, not walking...you get the point: she's not doing what I see other kids her age doing. I know, I know...every child develops at a different rate. You hear this over and over from other parents, relatives, friends, doctors, nurses, etc. But, does any mom really truly believe this? We try to tell ourselves that we do - or at least I did. However, in the back of my mind, there was always that lingering question, "What am I doing wrong?" I didn't think that my child could tell me the answer to this question...after all, she has very few words she can say.
Well, today, I am here to say that there is hope for me yet! Earlier this month, we celebrated Sweet Pea's first birthday. It's hard to believe that one year has already passed. The days may go by slowly, but the year sped past. And, I can't believe all that's happened. I won't name everything she can do now...then I may start lamenting about what she still can't do. However, I look at how far we've come and how her little personality is now surpassed where I ever thought it would take us in a year. Each day may seem slow, but during those days, she's been observing, learning, and taking everything in. It may have taken her a bit longer to get to some places than other kids, but she's getting there in her own time (just as during labor!). She is overcoming obstacles. And, the best part is, I see her enjoying each and every thing she encounters. I just had to actively listen to her to realize all of this.
My child has shown me through her play, her expressions, her body language, her laughter, her cries, her temper tantrums, and so much more that I am not doing things wrong. No, this is not the answer to that lingering question. The answer is quite the opposite...I'm doing things right!! I just need to realize that growth and development take time. These things do not always occur overnight - at least not in the way that I often hope. Just as it took time for my child to develop within my womb, it now takes time for her to develop outside of it.
So, to all of you moms who may have this same question lingering within your mind. Take heart, there is hope for all of us yet! We just need to listen with more than our ears!
As a mom, there are days that go by when I wonder where the hope is for me. My Sweet Pea is either not sleeping well, not eating well, not building her vocabulary, not crawling, not walking...you get the point: she's not doing what I see other kids her age doing. I know, I know...every child develops at a different rate. You hear this over and over from other parents, relatives, friends, doctors, nurses, etc. But, does any mom really truly believe this? We try to tell ourselves that we do - or at least I did. However, in the back of my mind, there was always that lingering question, "What am I doing wrong?" I didn't think that my child could tell me the answer to this question...after all, she has very few words she can say.
Well, today, I am here to say that there is hope for me yet! Earlier this month, we celebrated Sweet Pea's first birthday. It's hard to believe that one year has already passed. The days may go by slowly, but the year sped past. And, I can't believe all that's happened. I won't name everything she can do now...then I may start lamenting about what she still can't do. However, I look at how far we've come and how her little personality is now surpassed where I ever thought it would take us in a year. Each day may seem slow, but during those days, she's been observing, learning, and taking everything in. It may have taken her a bit longer to get to some places than other kids, but she's getting there in her own time (just as during labor!). She is overcoming obstacles. And, the best part is, I see her enjoying each and every thing she encounters. I just had to actively listen to her to realize all of this.
My child has shown me through her play, her expressions, her body language, her laughter, her cries, her temper tantrums, and so much more that I am not doing things wrong. No, this is not the answer to that lingering question. The answer is quite the opposite...I'm doing things right!! I just need to realize that growth and development take time. These things do not always occur overnight - at least not in the way that I often hope. Just as it took time for my child to develop within my womb, it now takes time for her to develop outside of it.
So, to all of you moms who may have this same question lingering within your mind. Take heart, there is hope for all of us yet! We just need to listen with more than our ears!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Leftovers
I have a lot of friends that are gourmet chefs. While perhaps not classically trained in the art of cooking, as I watch them meander through their kitchens preparing delicacies from around the world, I realize how much of a foreigner I am in my own kitchen. I tend to stick to the easy-to-prepare, no-fuss recipes. My go-to recipes tend to include chili, meatloaf, pot roast, enchiladas, grilled chicken, salmon, and spaghetti. My husband is the king of leftovers and so I rarely have to eat this after-thought of my preparations. I don't like leftovers.
However, as I begin this new challenge of not spending money on groceries and simply using what I already have, I found that I have a ton of leftovers in my fridge and freezer. While, in a typical month, I would probably just toss these if my DH hadn't eaten them in a week, I feel like I need to also partake in this cleansing so that I can truly fulfill the goal of my challenge of not wasting food.
Therefore, on the first two days of my challenge, I ate leftovers...Yesterday, I finished off the chicken enchilada dip that I made for a friend's baby shower over the weekend. Today, I used the leftover potato fries I made for my Sweet Pea - which she refuses to eat unless they're mashed - into a potato quesadilla for lunch (also using the sour cream that I had purchased and not used all of to prepare the chicken enchilada dip). I also finished off the leftover Panda Express my DH left in the fridge. Amazingly enough, it wasn't horrible!
Granted, my healthy eating habits need significant improvement, but we'll start where we must in order to fulfill the challenge of eating frugally and without waste.
However, as I begin this new challenge of not spending money on groceries and simply using what I already have, I found that I have a ton of leftovers in my fridge and freezer. While, in a typical month, I would probably just toss these if my DH hadn't eaten them in a week, I feel like I need to also partake in this cleansing so that I can truly fulfill the goal of my challenge of not wasting food.
Therefore, on the first two days of my challenge, I ate leftovers...Yesterday, I finished off the chicken enchilada dip that I made for a friend's baby shower over the weekend. Today, I used the leftover potato fries I made for my Sweet Pea - which she refuses to eat unless they're mashed - into a potato quesadilla for lunch (also using the sour cream that I had purchased and not used all of to prepare the chicken enchilada dip). I also finished off the leftover Panda Express my DH left in the fridge. Amazingly enough, it wasn't horrible!
Granted, my healthy eating habits need significant improvement, but we'll start where we must in order to fulfill the challenge of eating frugally and without waste.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
A Challenge
Perhaps if you've been reading my blog for a while, you've realized that I'm a person who loves a challenge. I think that's part of why I've survived being a mom for nearly an entire year...yes, my Sweet Pea is almost one! It's amazing how fast the time flies. Granted, I don't remember half of it, but I have my previous blog posts to help me remember it all.
As my second year of being a mother begins, I had a thought...really a dare from my husband. We have saved so much money by using cloth diapers and cloth wipes - as well as making most of our own baby food - that I wonder where else I could save money. After all, I love to spend money, but I can't spend money I don't have!
So, here's the idea. For the month of March, I am going to attempt to only make meals with items that I already have in my pantry, fridge, and freezer. I'm going to attempt to spend nothing - or next to nothing - on groceries (which is usually one of our top expenses). I'm going to get creative with what I have and what I can do with it. Now, I'm not saying that I won't buy any groceries. After all, I can't let the milk and eggs in my fridge last the entire month. But, I will limit the food that I want to buy and only buy what is absolutely needed (this means taking out that extra trip to the store for the chocolate, soda, or cheese that I want to snack on).
Perhaps you're like me, you like to keep your pantry, fridge, and freezer stocked. Well, how often do you actually use everything in them? I realize that there are so many things that I am wasting simply because I want to always keep them stocked. So, now I'm going to force myself to use them while trying not to make the same thing over and over again. To begin, I must first inventory the items in my pantry, fridge, and freezer. Instead of listing all the items, I decided that I'd simply take pictures (listing them would take too long and I'd be quite embarrassed to actually see a written list of the items I've been wasting).
As my second year of being a mother begins, I had a thought...really a dare from my husband. We have saved so much money by using cloth diapers and cloth wipes - as well as making most of our own baby food - that I wonder where else I could save money. After all, I love to spend money, but I can't spend money I don't have!
So, here's the idea. For the month of March, I am going to attempt to only make meals with items that I already have in my pantry, fridge, and freezer. I'm going to attempt to spend nothing - or next to nothing - on groceries (which is usually one of our top expenses). I'm going to get creative with what I have and what I can do with it. Now, I'm not saying that I won't buy any groceries. After all, I can't let the milk and eggs in my fridge last the entire month. But, I will limit the food that I want to buy and only buy what is absolutely needed (this means taking out that extra trip to the store for the chocolate, soda, or cheese that I want to snack on).
Perhaps you're like me, you like to keep your pantry, fridge, and freezer stocked. Well, how often do you actually use everything in them? I realize that there are so many things that I am wasting simply because I want to always keep them stocked. So, now I'm going to force myself to use them while trying not to make the same thing over and over again. To begin, I must first inventory the items in my pantry, fridge, and freezer. Instead of listing all the items, I decided that I'd simply take pictures (listing them would take too long and I'd be quite embarrassed to actually see a written list of the items I've been wasting).
Pantry:
Freezer:
Fridge:
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