Why Red Robin is great

I love to eat out.  I'm not quite a foodie, but I do appreciate a restaurant with a peaceful ambiance and fine cuisine.  Now, this past statement and the title of my blog may appear to be a paradox but, as many mothers may agree, it is not.

Red Robin, and similar restaurants, is one of the most relaxing places for me to enjoy a peaceful night out with my family or just my daughter and me.  It's peaceful because I cannot hear my daughter screeching over the sound of the music, other patrons, and other kids screeching around us.  It's the perfect place to go when you don't want others to know exactly how loud your child can get when out in public.  It's also perfect because they serve meals that resemble healthy food.  You can order grilled chicken with fruit and vegetables instead of everything fried. 

Now, the games in the waiting area may appear to be distractions which have the ability to cause tantrums at the drop of a dime (or dollar, as inflation seems to have games now costing), but really, who's going to notice your child's tantrum when there are ten other tables with parents worrying about the same thing? 

As a non-parent, my idea of the perfect restaurant would have been that local place with the well-known chef and a wine selection that was longer than the daily-changing menu.  But, let's face it, we roll with the punches and, for the times I don't have a sitter or I'm in desperate need of getting out of the house and in some resemblance of society, Red Robin will do just fine.  It is truly a great restaurant!

Surviving Single Parenting

For those of you who read this - I know it's not too many - some of you know me personally, so this won't come as a shock to you.  But, for the rest of you, there's a minor, personal detail which I've left out of my previous blog posts.  If you've been following me for any period of time, this may be surprising to you as I've shared the in's and out's of pregnancy, labor, and delivery, as well as many other sordid details of parenting.  But, alas, there is one important item which I've neglected to share.

I am a military spouse.  Now, you may be wondering what this means and what it has to do with the title of this post on being a single parent.  This essentially means that there are times when my husband cannot be around to be the father that I know he wants to be.  There are times when I must make the decisions for my family.  And, there are times when I must struggle through tantrums, milestones, life lessons, and other childhood dramas without support.  Some of you may recognize these struggles as you too are either a milspouse or a single parent. 

When I thought of having a family, there would be so many times when I needed support from someone other than myself.  There are times when I've thought that I was going to go crazy because I couldn't take the crying, screaming, or not being around an adult.  There are times when I thought the world around me was going to fall down because I hadn't gotten a single break between spit ups, pukes, poops, pees, and every other sort of mess that comes with having a child.  There are times when my has teetered on the very edge of sanity because of sleep deprivation and the constant need my Sweet Pea has needed from me.

But, I'm here to say that, while I don't quite consider myself a survivor, I would say that I am surviving.  Every day is a new battle.  Every week brings new challenges.  Every month brings a new development in not only my child's life, but also in my own.  My strength builds.  My hope endures.  My skills at parenting are being sharpened.  I am being developed into a survivor.

So, while I can't give exact pointers on how to survive single parenthood, I can say that it is possible.  Every parent is different.  Every child is different.  But, through it all, know that we are not alone.  Whatever situation has made you a single parent, you too can choose to become a survivor.

Stripping Cloth Diapers

It's been over a year now, and I am so happy that I have stuck with cloth diapering.  Not only have I saved money, but my daughter knows exactly when she has a dirty/wet diaper.  She is VERY vocal about this!  I hope this translates to easy potty training, but that's yet to be seen.

The one minor detail I've noticed as I've cloth diapered is that, occasionally, there is a smell to the diapers when they become wet or dirty.  It makes me think that each diaper is a poopy diaper, yet when I open it up, it's simply wet.  This has gotten kind of annoying. So, I did some research.

Did you know that cloth diapers need occasional maintenance in order to maintain their absorbency and eliminate detergent buildup?  I didn't.  You'd think that this information would be more readily accessible within the cloth diapering community.  But, seeing as I am one of the first of my friends to use cloth diapers, perhaps it's just not known in my community.

It's possible that I am either using too much or too little detergent when laundering my diapers.  These are both common issues with smells.  I use a heavy duty cycle with multiple rinses.  I also use an all-natural detergent.  But, buildup can still occur.

Therefore, I've now stripped my diapers.  When I first heard this term, "stripping diapers", I thought that it was going to be extremely complicated and too much work for me.  The easy news...it's not.  It's simply a term that refers to getting rid of that extra buildup in the diapers.  And, with regular maintenance, this is as simple as doing multiple rinse cycles with zero detergent on clean diapers.  By continually rinsing the diapers, you get out all of that buildup that, over time, affects the absorbency - and therefore smell - of cloth diapers.

Now, there are products out there to assist with stripping cloth diapers.  Thankfully, most of them are unneeded.  Before spending lots of money on chemicals, try doing a couple of simple heavy duty, hot rinse cycles on a load of clean diapers (note, be sure to actually clean the diapers first!).  With regular maintenance, your diapers will continue to work the way you know and love them to.

Happy diapering!

A Mother's Job

With Mother's Day quickly approaching...hint, hint to all the father's and children reading this blog post...I thought I'd do a quick recap of what I've learned over the past year about a mother's job. 

A mother's job, while quieted within society, is rarely filled with quiet.
It's filled with spills, spit ups, pukes, poops, dirty laundry, and dirty diapers because it's not a clean job. 
Because of this, we fill the diaper bag with a change of clothes for both Baby and Mama
Our days are not filled with sleep.  Sleep is overrated; naps are essential.
As is coffee...more than one cup.  The coffee shop knows to keep that cup full.

Happiness for a mother is that first night you get four hours of sleep.
It's the first smile and laugh - even if it is because of gas.
It's finding time to take a shower and fix your hair.
It's making it through a day with no blow outs.
It's eating a hot meal.
It's finding your belly button and taking those first steps.
It's hugs with tiny pats on the back.

"Ma Ma" is rarely the first word because Baby knows you'll always be there.
Mothers understand the difference between "da da" and "dah dah" - one is Dad, the other the dog - although sometimes it's also a duck.
Mothers also understand sign language.  We know when the "point and grunt" means Baby's hungry and when it means Baby wants picked up.

Mothers are psychics.
We know where Baby is when there is no noise at all.
Mothers are doctors.
We kiss away the bumps and bruises and can tell the difference between a cold and teething.
Mothers are entertainers.
Reading books, singing songs, eating plastic food...all day long.
Mothers are teachers.
Knowing right from wrong; noses from toes, numbers, colors, and more.

Mothers are rarely recognized.
They're rarely acknowledged.
They're rarely appreciated.
Why?  Because, even without these things, we're still always here.

Mothers are different.
Unique.
There are no two mothers alike.
And, that's ok. 
There's no one way to be a mother.
There's no one way to succeed.

Being a mother is not for everyone.
The physical act of having a child does not make everyone a mother.
It is the emotional involvement, the mental toll, the everyday insanity that every mother goes through and learns to survive.
Mothers are amazing creatures, created by God, given amazing abilities to overcome obstacles, trials, and stresses.

This is a mother's job.