I'm not saying that romance is gone. Quite the opposite...romance is still very present and needed in my life. However, it's different. A friend of mine once showed me the book Porn for New Moms. I didn't completely understand it at the time (I hadn't yet had children), but it made me laugh. The very thought of a man coming home and offering to take the baby so that mom can get a bath or go out with girlfriends seemed ridiculous. Now, I completely understand the concept!
As a mom, we want romance. But, what really is romance? I think that it's feeling appreciated for the person we are and feeling as though we're a part of a team. I want my husband to look at me and know exactly what I'm feeling and what I need without having to tell him. As a mother, I crave feeling like an adult, but so often my life don't allow this.
When my husband comes home and offers to take Baby or when he knows there's a poopy diaper yet doesn't hand her back to me, this is romance. He is recognizing that he too is a part of our relationship and respecting the fact that I've been home all day with Baby - unable to have anyone else help with her care. By giving me a minimum of five minutes alone (not changing a diaper or being spit up on), I feel closer to my husband than if he were to bring home a dozen roses (Sweetie, if you're reading this, just know that a dozen roses will always be accepted). The more ways that my husband helps, the sexier he becomes to me. And, saying this as tactfully as I can, the sexier my husband is, the more my response isn't going to be "I just want to go to sleep" when he asks me what I want to do that evening.
With all this in mind. I've made a list of the things that are romantic to me. Be sure to leave a comment with how you like to be romanced.
- A home-cooked meal (that I didn't prepare)
- A surprise babysitter (that I didn't have to schedule)
- The hubby watches Baby while I go out with girlfriends
- A surprise back massage because my husband realizes I've been carrying Baby around all day
- The hubby watches Baby so I can get a bath
- Daddy reading to Baby
- Daddy interacting with Baby
- The hubby folding a load of diapers or baby clothes (or any other load of laundry)
- A daddy who attempts to accessorize his daughter
- A daddy who has fallen asleep with Baby so that Mommy could do other work
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