My Conclusion

It's been a while since my last blog.  Life seems to take up so much more time once my Sweet Pea started walking.  It's been just over a month, but I've already lost the ability to focus on individual tasks as they continually get interrupted by the need to get someone out of the dog bowls, out of the plants, into the potty, or redressed.  Busyness has been completely redefined when you're looking our for someone with a 30-second attention span.

However, life as a mother is also a lot more interesting and challenging as each new accomplishment is achieved. My Sweet Pea interacts with me (albeit, not always for the best) and tells me some of what she wants (apparently, I never feed her as she's always asking for "more").  She looks at the world with eyes I wish I still had...eyes that never get bored.  She can read Dr. Seuss's Mr Brown Can Moo over and over and, every time she gets to "He can sound like a hand on a door..." she knocks her own hand on the page, laughing at her accomplishment.

Why is it that we lose this gift of sight?  A vacuum to my Sweet Pea is a magical instrument that sings songs and vibrates as she pushes it across the room (Yes, I did buy her a real vacuum - or Dustbuster - she had no interest in the play vacuums).  To me, a vacuum is just another torture device of yet another task I must accomplish several times a week.  Flowering weeds, to my Sweet Pea, are a glorious gift for MaMa.  And, while they melt my heart when coming from the tender hands of my child, when growing in my yard, they're proof of my inability to maintain the pristine lawn of which I dream.

I'm envious of my own child.  She looks at the world around her and sees nothing but the glories of God, hope, and possibilities.  I look at the world around me and see my faults, lost dreams, and agony of man's sinful nature.  I look at the people around me and see despair, anger, selfishness, greed, lust, broken homes, broken promises, and broken spirits.  My Sweet Pea sees these same people and sees it as an opportunity to wave and say "Hi!"...as is evident when we walk to the mailbox and she must stop and wave at every passerby.

I've come to a conclusion.  Children are an amazing blessing from whom we can learn to reacquaint ourselves with all the goodness in this world.  They cause pain during childbirth, from which we can learn to appreciate the tenderness of their sweet skin.  They give us sleepless days and nights from which we can learn to let some of our duties slide and make the necessary time for our own rest.  They cry so that we can allow their sweet laughs to radiate inside us and fill us again with hope.  They get dirty so that we can enjoy time together singing and playing in the bath.  They get hurt so that we can be reassured of our simple ability to hug and kiss them and tell them that everything will be alright.  They grow up and have their own kids so that we know this cycle doesn't end and that we have added something great to the world around us.

One Regret

Before having a child, I thought that I didn't have many regrets.  I have had a good life and been blessed to do many things.  What was there to regret?

However, as I watch my child grow, I notice that there are so many times when I have rushed through life and avoided really focusing on what's around me.  Having a child has changed that.  Not only do I now have to notice everything around me (for fear that my child will get into it), but I have to teach my child about all that surrounds her...to know the difference between red and purple, one and ten, dogs and cats, edible and yucky, play time and quite time, good and bad, right and wrong, and so many more things.

Just this morning, I found myself trying to rush through the day so that we could get to nap time.  I needed rest after the lack of sleep this week has brought me.  But, my daughter didn't want anything to do with it.  She wasn't throwing a temper tantrum (thankfully) and she wasn't screeching in excitement (also, thankfully).  No, she was simply admiring the world around her and continually bringing different items to my lap to learn.

What a joyful time parenting is.  It's cause for learning for both child and parent.  It's cause for admiration of all that we know and all that we don't.  And, perhaps it's God's way of showing us that it's time to take a look around at all His glories.

I hope you are able to stop and look at the world around you today.  And, maybe just breathe and learn.

Transitions

Transition is always difficult.  Whether it's moving to a new home, changing jobs, changing relationship statuses...there are always obstacles to overcome and challenges to face. 

The same is true for transitions in my Sweet Pea.  The periods of transitions are the toughest for us.  First, it was transitioning from in the womb to in my arms.  After all, she had to learn to breathe on her own, nurse, sleep during the night and stay awake during daytime - not to mention allowing all of her body systems to function.  That's one tough job for someone so tiny.  The next major transition was to eating solid foods.  She had to learn tastes, textures, swallowing while getting rid of the tongue thrust reflex.  Other transitions are to moving her own body via crawling or walking, talking and communicating, playing on her own or entertaining herself.  The list goes on and on and on. 

While these periods of change have included many sleepless nights on my part, they have - as I look back - been relatively short.  And, best of all, these times have passed.

So, for those of you in the midst of whatever period of transition, know this...these times will pass.  Before you know it, you'll look back and wonder where the time has gone!

From Pumping Iron to Pumping...Baby?

Exercise can either be a good or bad thing depending on your personality, past experiences, and lifestyle.  But, there's no doubt that exercise, whether you like it or not, is a fact of life once you become a parent.

The first few weeks after we brought Baby home, the only way to calm her was to walk up and down the stairs in our house.  We did this over and over and over - all through the day and the night.  My husband and I would take turns and our calves turned into rock solid muscle.  As Baby began to get bored with the stairs, I had to develop some creativity.  We would bounce on the ball (a core balancing exercise), do sit ups on the ball (an ab/oblique workout), and even do squats against the wall with the ball (a quad/hamstring/glute workout).  As Baby grew and gained more weight, my biceps and triceps developed into a sculpted phenomenon of which I had only previously dreamed.  I even managed to work in some deltoid/rhomboid/trap (shoulder and upper back) action while entertaining Baby.  I was working out every major muscle system in my body.

I managed to disguise my workouts into Baby-pleasing activities that not only helped me lose the weight I had gained, but also allowed parts of my body to develop more than when I had been practicing sports on a regular basis.  And, this time it was fun and functional!  Baby was happy, I was happy - making my entire family happy! 

So, if you're having a hard time motivating yourself to lose those extra pounds from your baby, why not think about adding Baby into your exercise routine?  Those little smiles you get will help keep you motivated and on track.  If they don't, find a friend to go on a walk with.  Enjoy the last few days of nice weather before winter sets in.  Not only will you be helping your body, but you'll be teaching your child a valuable lesson in wellness.




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Establishing a Potty Routine

None of us really remember how we learned to go to the bathroom.  To us, it's simpler than almost any other function we do.  But, when you have a child all of that changes.
Now, most of you probably think that this blog is going to be about potty training your child.  Well, it's not.  Let's face it; there's a lot that needs to be learned about "going potty" even before you get to potty training.  I won't get into the details of going to the bathroom after delivery...I don't want to scare away any blog readers who haven't yet had children.  No, let's talk about going to the bathroom when you have nowhere to put Baby.  The obvious decision is then to retrain yourself in how to go to the bathroom with Baby.

As women, we know how to effectively use public restrooms.  We can hover, squat, and maneuver our bodies into positions so that we never have to touch the toilet seat.  But, you add a child to this equation and things become a little bit more difficult.  Usually, you hope to have someone you know who can hold Baby while you go to the bathroom by yourself.  However, this isn't always a possibility.  You might try to "hold it" until you return to the privacy of your own home so that you can put Baby in his/her crib or somewhere that you trust and know is clean.  But, there will undoubtedly be those times when you must use a public restroom by yourself with Baby. 

Some public restrooms are considerate of their customers who are mothers.  They include the changing table in the handicap stall so that you can secure the younger babies while you use the restroom.  Other restroom designers do not consider this difficulty - most certainly these designers are men.  They either install the changing table so that it opens directly over the toilet or they do not have a stall where you can put Baby somewhere while you do your thing.  This is when we, as mothers, must become creative.

I'm not a person who trusts public restrooms.  While some may appear to be clean, I will never sit my child on the floor - even for the necessity of emptying my bladder.  I'd rather risk embarrassment dancing the "potty dance"!  So, the only other possibility is learning how to properly use the restroom with your child.  Here are my pointers:

1. While Baby is still able to fit into a pumpkin seat, always bring it into the restroom with you.  You can safely put Baby in the seat while you do your thing.

2. Learning to maneuver yourself so that you can potty while holding Baby on your knees is important.  Note: Baby should sit facing away from you for greatest ease.  Baby carriers may be used with smaller children.

3. Teaching Baby not to look under the stall is important.  Singing songs to entertain them is never a bad thing.  It keeps them occupied!  If other restroom users look at you strangely, you will know that they are not or were never mothers.  Don't let them bother you.  They may eventually learn this art.

4. Most importantly, recognize the fact that you are a great mom.  Learning to take care of your own bodily needs while still taking care of your child/children, is an art and a skill that is difficult to develop.  You will face problems at first, but they will be overcome!

So, good luck in your endeavors!  Feel free to leave your potty tips in the comments!

Rocket Scientist, Brain Surgeon...Mom

There are a lot of professions that take years upon years to develop the skills, intelligence, intuition, and abilities in order to properly function in the profession.  People take thousands of hours of classes and practicums.  They spend decades developing and advancing their technologies and furthering their professions.  These professions are truly amazing.  They're not meant for the average person.

Motherhood is similar to these professions - except that you're not given years to prepare or thousands of hours to perfect your skills and enhance your knowledge.  It's a "learn by fire" career.  And, yes, it is a career.  If lucky, you're given nine short (although they may seem long at the time) months to prepare.

Some may say that a girl prepares all her life to be a mother.  But, is this really true?  From a young age we "play" mom, and we may even babysit or work as a childcare provider.  But, is this truly learning how to be a mom??  I would argue that these things may slightly help, but they don't come close to preparing you.

No one tells you all of the "careers" you will have to learn as a mom.  Here's a list of the few I've had to already learn:

• Hair stylist/Fashion designer
• Medical care provider
• Psychiatrist/Counselor
• Nutritionist/Gourmet Baby Food Chef
• Interior decorator
• Engineer (that furniture doesn't go together by itself)
• Repairman
• Car Seat Technician (this is as close to rocket scientist as I'll ever get)
• Travel Guide
• Opera Singer
• Dramatic Book Interpreter
• Comedian
• Fitness Trainer (Someone's got to motivate Baby to eventually move)
• Photographer/Videographer
• Interpreter (Baby words are often difficult for others to understand)
• Shepherd (Dogs may work well with sheep, but not so well with babies)
• Educator
• Sanitation worker
• Airplane pilot (it may be just an imaginary plane, but Baby still likes it)
• Financial adviser (Baby's got to save for college somehow)
• Taxi driver
• Etiquette instructor

These are just a few of the professions I've had to learn on-the-go.  Feel free to add to the list.  And, if you're just getting into the job, remember that to your baby, there's no one better than you!

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Ever since becoming a mom, I've realized just how great it is to be a child - especially a baby.  Think about it...you have someone else taking care of your every waking need.  You're fed, changed, warmed, loved, burped...it's one gigantic party!  Well, since it is Baby's party, I guess that explains why sometimes she just wants to cry.  This week has been no exception!

We've had a busy week. Not only was it time to get more shots, but we're also getting ready for more family to visit, a possible move, trying to finish up end of the fiscal year work, and started eating solid foods.  All of these things have truly affected Baby's sleep schedule and Momma's sanity.


We've also learned a new thing this week...Mom is going to have to let Baby cry a little longer sometimes!  Now, I am probably not going to be the mom that does the whole Ferber method.  Fifteen minutes is about as long as I can go before I'm in tears too.  But, I did come to realize that Baby has learned the art of cause and effect: if I cry, Mommy will come get me.  She knows that this is especially true at 10am, 5pm, and especially 2am.

It's difficult to change parenting styles as you go.  We started out as a newborn tending to every cry - just trying to figure out what was wrong.  We learned those cries, but now that she's older, those cries have changed.  She's learned that she can get what she wants (which is often just a little more playtime or not to take a nap) by crying.

While I don't yet have an answer to what to do, my husband and I are trying out a lot of different methods.  We actually attempted the Ferber (cry-it-out) method, but after two hours of on-again-off-again crying, Mommy needed it to stop or she would have gone crazy (Baby is very persistent - or strong-willed - and immediately smiled as soon as Mommy picked her up!).  I have also taken all dairy out of my diet in the hopes that will relieve any digestion problems potentially associated with Baby's fussiness.

If you've gone through similar experiences, let me know what you did!  If you're going through this experience now - or in the future - rest assured (no matter that the rest is limited) that you're not alone!

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times; it was pregnancy...

We often think of pregnancy the way that we see it in the movies: happy, cheerful, and finished within two hours.  But, the reality is - just as Dickens wrote - that pregnancy is both the best and worst of times.  Pregnancy is filled with excitement, curiosity, worries, fears, weight gain, and more. 

I'll never forget the second that I knew I was pregnant.  It was not due to a positive pregnancy test...that came later.  It was due to my becoming absolutely furious with my husband because of some trivial thing that I cannot recollect.  My hormones were raging, and I knew that something was different.  So, I took the test, found out my suspicions were indeed correct, and immediately was ecstatic - did I mention those hormones???

My husband and I decided to wait to tell people that we were expecting.  That's easier said than done.  I managed to do this (after only telling a few people that I knew wouldn't let the secret slip), but it became harder and harder as the morning sickness sank in.  I had to come up with excuses for constantly having to go to the bathroom ("I'm just not feeling very good right now", "I think something upset my stomach", "I must be coming down with something", etc. etc.).  I had to wear baggier clothes (not only to hide my ever-expanding midsection, but also because none of my regular clothes fit). And, I had to try not to draw attention to my ever-expanding top section (of which, normally being a B cup, was quite impressive to me).

Eventually the time came when we decided to tell people.  With this, I began to receive advice.  Now, it's not that the advice was necessarily good or bad, but when it's your first time being pregnant and you receive an overabundance of advice (on top of hormones), it can be overwhelming.  Worries and fears began to set in.  Was I actually ready to be a mom?  Was I doing the right things, eating the right foods, and not allowing myself to be around influences that could harm my baby?  Did we have enough money to start a family?  Were we too old?  Were we not old enough?  Which room would be Baby's?  What things would I need for Baby?  The questions came and came and came.

Thankfully, in between all of these questions, worries and fears came the doctor's visits.  Here, every single visit, my doctor would bring in the little device that would be placed on my belly, and I was able to listen to Baby's heart beat.  Now, I must admit that - at my nine week appointment - I had a "Rachel" moment and didn't recognize the heartbeat until the doctor described it, but this sound constantly eased my worries and fears.  Every time I went back to the doctor, I knew that Baby was growing and his or her (we didn't find out the gender) heart was still beating.

But, then I'd leave the doctor's office and go back to the real world of people saying stupid things, hormones raging, crying, anger, etc. etc.  My husband would constantly remind me to let things roll off of me, but that's easier said than done when you don't feel like yourself...and you technically aren't completely yourself since there's another self growing inside you. 

As pregnancy continued, time began to slow, but we continued to prepare.  With each item we checked off our to-do list, it seemed like ten more items were added.  But, we trudged on or, in my case, waddled on.

The home stretch was approaching.  I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I was seeing my doctor on a weekly basis.  I was feeling contractions.  I was timing contractions.  Contractions reached the 5-1-1 that's discussed in the child prep classes.  I called the doctor.  He said it was too early and to go to the hospital.  So, I went and my labor was stopped.  I left...still pregnant.

I waited and waited and waited...until, more contractions, then spotting (from my childbirth class this was a definite sign to call the doc).  He told me to go to the hospital.  I went.  I waited and waited and waited.  My contractions were right on top of each other, but I wasn't progressing. It was still a little early, so no inducing.  Finally, I went home...still pregnant.

I gardened; I cleaned; I crawled up and down the stairs on my knees.  I ate fresh pineapple, eggplant Parmesan, and spicy Mexican food.  I tried everything there was to kick start the labor.  I was miserable. Contractions came and went.  I wasn't sleeping.  I was furious.  I squatted.  I walked.  I scrubbed floors, the toilets, the shower, and more.  This baby was never coming out.

Then, I stood up.  I felt something odd.  Did my water break?  Nah.  It couldn't be.  I called the doctor.  He told me to come to his office.  I knew this wasn't for real, so I took a shower, called a friend to take me, packed my bag (I recommend packing sooner), fed the dogs, and waited.  My friend came.  I sat in her car.  The contractions came...and came...and came.  I arrived at the doctor's office.  I couldn't breathe.  I couldn't wait.  He saw me.  He told me it's time.  So, I called my husband and told him to leave work. 

I arrived at labor and deliver.  I was having contractions right on top of each other.  This baby was coming.  I waited...and waited...and waited.  Fourteen hours later, no baby.  No epidural.  No food.  No patience.

The doctor came.  I was checked.  There was progress, but not enough.  I was given Pitocin.  The contractions came...and Came...and CAME!  Two hours later...no baby...GET ME AN EPIDURAL!  Then, calm.  Ahhhh...the relief.  But, still no baby.

I tried to sleep.  I felt nothing.  I was singing songs of praise to my anesthesiologist.  Four hours later, the nurse came.  She checked me.  There was Baby!  The doctor was called.  The husband was awoken.  The room was prepared.  Excitement came.  The doctor came.  Nausea came.

I pushed...and pushed.  Baby arrived!  There was crying.  Nurses were busy.  The doctor was busy.  My husband announced, "It's a girl!"  No more waiting.  No more fears.  No more worries.    Adrenaline was pumping through me.  I held my baby.  I was happy.

And, pregnancy was over.

Establishing Night Time Sleep

Since I assume that most of you reading this are either mothers or women who want to eventually be mothers, then we each know that our child (or child-to-be) is the brightest and most well-developed child out there (who wouldn't agree?!).  Our prodigy child wants to see and do everything - especially at night.  And, as mothers, we all know who gets to wake up during the middle of the night to teach Baby that, when the moon is out, we sleep...us!  A mother's physical need for sleep seems to diminish during the first months after Baby arrives.  But, our mental need for sleep is still ever present reminding us - day after day - that we are exhausted. Well, establishing night time sleep isn't impossible, and this blog will tell you how I did it and had my baby sleeping through the night by nine weeks old (which, for her age, was six hours of blessed, uninterrupted sleep).

I read many books prior to Baby's arrival about establishing a good sleep habit.  On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Sleep Reference Guide Used by Over 1,000,000 Parents Worldwide andHealthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child were the two most helpful books.  Through these books I realized that I could establish a pattern for my child's day - without taking away the basic needs of my child.  It was really pretty simple.  I started my schedule after Baby woke up.  I would immediately feed her and then we would play, read books, or do other wakey time activities.  Then, when she was tired, I would let her go to sleep.  While I tried not always to comfort her to sleep (i.e., nursing or rocking to sleep), I also realized that occasionally this was going to be the only way I would get any sleep.  So, I did what was needed for my own sanity and the health and nurturing of Baby.  I will admit, occasionally Baby slept with me just because I knew she would sleep.  I don't think there's anything wrong with this because it made me a happier and healthier mom so that I could grow a happier and healthier baby.

Over and over again, I utilized the routine: sleep, eat, play.  At first, Baby would sleep for an hour, then eat for an hour, and then play for 5-10 minutes, then go back to sleep.  However, as Baby grew, so did the time between each activity.  She would sleep for longer periods of time during the day, take less time to eat, and stay awake to play longer.  So, as she grew, we were developing her daytime schedule.  Throughout the day, we would follow the simple routine and she knew what was happening.  I also got to know Baby's cries because they became associated with our schedule.  If she had just woken up and was crying, I knew she was hungry.  If she had been playing for a while and was crying, then I knew she was probably sleepy.  

While this schedule didn't give me immediate nighttime rest (I was still waking up every 2-1/2 to 3 hours to nurse Baby), it did allow me to know if there was something else wrong.  If Baby woke up before the usual time, then I knew she was either gassy, had a dirty/wet diaper, or there was another problem.  While it sometimes took time to find the problem - and sometimes she just wanted to spend time with Mommy - I had some peace of mind that I was doing what was best for my baby.  Through utilizing a daily routine, I was able to determine times that I could take a shower because Baby would be napping and times when I could do chores because Baby would be awake and want to look all over the house while riding in our carrier.  Life was getting a little bit easier.  

Now, I am not advocating a parent-directed, hyper-schedule.  There are always going to be times when Baby needs extra food, attention, or naps.  But, I am advocating trying to establish some sort of sanity routine so that both Mom and Baby can find time to relax and rejuvenate.  After all, the old adage is definitely true: When Mom is happy, everyone is happy!

So, for those of you who have gotten your kids to sleep through the night, please feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments.  As mentioned previously, all babies are different.  What works for me may not work for you, but hopefully together we can help each other out!

Baby Manuals

When my husband and I first found out that we were expecting, we were excited.  We had desired a family for a while and thought that we were as ready as we could be; however, we quickly learned that we had a lot to learn about raising a child.  We began researching libraries, the Internet, and questioning friends and families about raising a child and determined that a. there is no manual for children and b. every thing you read or every person you talk to will tell you different information - information which is often times extremely divergent.

From pregnancy to labor and delivery, whether or not to use cloth diapers, setting up sleep schedules, breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, and so on and so on, the advice is too numerous to count.  As I have read about all of the numerous ways you can grow your baby, I have - at times - become completely overwhelmed with the possibility of messing up my child.  Thankfully, I have come across some wise mothers who have reminded me that there are no two children alike (even identical twins - of which I can fully attest since I am one); therefore, no two children will develop at the same rate, use the same tools/tricks of the motherhood trade, or even act the same to the same stimulation. 

So, with this in mind, my goal in this blog is to have a place to share the information that has worked for my baby and me.  It may or may not work with you and your baby, but you can read what I have to say, take it with a grain of salt, or just leave it and decide for yourself what's best for you.  As I continue to learn, that's the joy of raising children...it's easier to make it up as you go along so that you can enjoy every new adventure and encounter!

Please feel free to comment and/or pass on this information to other people.  If my experiences can help out just one other person, then I will view this as success!